I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
