You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
