I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
