he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize