On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
