Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We need to get me chipped asap
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
false alarm, still single
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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