I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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