How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
we're so committed to being not committed
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
