the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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