How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
