You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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