You smell like a Billy Joel song
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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