If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say đ
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now sheâs a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. âHigh maintenance hotâ doesnât even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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