Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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