the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
