Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
