Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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