You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
