im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
