Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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