We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
