dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
