My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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