maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
