Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
