my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
