thus making me awesome and them whores
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
