i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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