it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
