I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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