the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
