i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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