forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
