Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
pop tarts are not kleenex
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
