Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she told me i tasted like america
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
