I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You were trust falling into bushes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize