i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Terrible idea I love it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
