If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
no you cant smoke seaweed
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
