I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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