Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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