just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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