Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
