I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
