Christians are straight up FREAKS
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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