i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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