Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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