sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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