I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
