Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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