If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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