yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
