everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
