Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
