I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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