his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
