My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
barbara walters just said penis...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Randomize