Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
