so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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