Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize