You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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